That Mother Lode

In November, my agency sent an email seeking volunteer families for short-term placements over the holidays because DFPS sometimes has a hard time placing kids during that time, and the kids end up sleeping in CPS offices or hotel rooms.  I let them know that my home was available if needed, and I was happy about potentially having a child in my home for the holidays.  I even purchased a few items that they could unwrap for Christmas.  I was also anticipating my mom and stepdad coming to Houston. The week before Christmas, I was still waiting on a placement, and my parents decided not to come due to the pending winter storm.  Fast forward to Christmas morning when I saw my former kids from children's church on stage performing "The Little Drummer Boy".  I beamed with pride and joy.  One of those kids holds a special place in my heart, and he came to greet me later during service.  I asked his mom if I could take him out during the week since I was on v...

I decided to turn the grief from my divorce into a positive, and I became more intentional about inspiring other people's children the same way that I wanted someone to inspire my future children.  That included volunteering to teach children's church.  I planted seeds by mentoring.  I bought books.  I sponsored scholarships.  I wrote letters to pen pals.  I visited juvenile detention centers.  I stood fully as a member of the village that raises children to fulfill their potential, and I embraced my support role.  My desire to be a mother didn't end.  I am blessed to have several close friends who have shown me that there are many paths to motherhood. They showed me what was possible. Their personal experiences taught me about IVF and IUF, gestational surrogacy, and donor sperm. (Aside: Why did autocorrect change that to "superman"? lol) At the beginning of 2021, two things happened that drew me closer to the foster care system. First, t...

I'm still waiting to be matched, so I'm working while I wait. My friend helped me assemble most of the bunk bed tonight. There's still more to be done, but we are proud of our work so far. Ikea is infamous for products with many parts and poor instructions. Thankfully, I found a YouTube video to help us get started. I'll test it out when it's finished to be sure that it is safe. I'm excited to complete the room and make it a beautiful space for kids.

Next week will mark 1 year since I lost a dear friend unexpectedly. Today, my favorite uncle died unexpectedly. Also, today, I saw Wakanda Forever,  which made space for the unexpected death of its star, Chadwick Boseman. We always seem to be surprised when people die, even though we know that every birth ends with death. Denying death doesn't stop it from happening. Knowing that we all will die eventually should not be scary. It just means that we have to make the most of the limited moments that we have on this earth. We must intentionally fill each of those moments with love. I am sad that I've lost people that I love, and I am glad that I experienced their love in my life. I hope that my light continues to shine even when I'm gone because I created a legacy of love. On another note, I am grateful for everyone who has supported my motherhood journey with a gift from my Amazon wish list. Each time I open my door for a new delivery, I feel the love of my village. Some boxe...

Today, my friend gave me this lovely mug.  It's the first acknowledgement of my new status.  I feel like I'm in the final days of pregnancy, and any day now, my child will make their entry into the world.  (This stage is also unlike pregnancy, because there are no obvious signs for the world to know that I'm expecting.)  In the meantime,  I am nesting.  I ordered a bunk bed that will be delivered this week, and I created an Amazon Wish List for other items that I need.  I'm looking forward to putting everything together to welcome my new addition(s).

You know we've got to find a way To bring some lovin' here today... It's official!  I'm licensed as a foster parent with the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS).  Today, I signed the paperwork and I will be eligible for placement after 24 hours.  It took a lot of work to get to this point, and it's just the beginning.  I'm grateful to everyone who has supported me on this journey.  I'm grateful for the people who asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this.  I'm grateful for the advice and the questions, because I know that they all came from a place of love.  I celebrated this special moment in my life by having dinner with a group of girlfriends.  They each experienced childhood trauma and were not protected by the people who were supposed to take care of them.  In spite of the challenges that my friends faced as kids, they are phenomenal mothers today.  It is very likely that I will have a kid in my care who has ...

When I was a kid, I thought my mom was old. I know all kids think their parents are old, but I had solid proof! My mom was older than most of my friend's parents, except for those friends who had older siblings. Whenever we ran into my mom's old friends and high school classmates, they would talk about their kids being in college or  recently married, and I was still in elementary or middle school. My mom gave birth to me 9 days after her 28th birthday. Many of her friends had children immediately after high school or in their early 20s. I guess my mom wasn't really that old considering that my grandmother gave birth to her (the 5th child) in her 40s. I didn't fully appreciate my mother waiting to have children later than her peers until I was in college. I realized then that I wanted to have fun and do things untethered as much as I could. I decided that I would be married with a kid by 30 with another one coming within a couple of years, and at some point, we would ...

Today, I learned that the home visit report was submitted to the agency.  They will review the report and approve my application in the next few weeks. Then, I'll be licensed to foster/adopt. I'm excited about the progress. I've been asked about my placement preferences several times by the agency and home visit contractor. Everyone in my circle who knows about my journey has asked me the gender question. "Do you prefer boys or girls?" I'll use this post to address those questions. Boy or girl? I don't have a gender preference. I just want to connect with them no matter the gender. How many? I am open to having 2 kids placed in my home, because I want to accommodate siblings, and I don't currently have the capacity for more. Age? This is the answer that surprises most people. I am interested in children who are 10 years old or older. Why? I know that is the hardest group to place because they are not cute little babies. Older kids who age out of the...

Today, I completed my home visit, which is the final step to being licensed by DFPS. The contractor asked me lots of questions about my background, my childhood, my relationship with my family, my preferences, my support system, my interest in adoption, and so much more. We talked for 3.5 hours. It was emotional at moments, because I had to share deeply personal details about my life. It was intense!  The next step is for the contractor to write a report based on the visit, and then the agency will assemble a panel to review the report and approve my application. Depending on scheduling, it could be about a month until I'm licensed and can have kids placed in my home. Kids?  Yep!

Today, I received an email from The Way Home Adoption about a foster child that immediately struck a chord with me. As I read about this kid, I started crying tears of joy, because they want to live in a home that almost perfectly describes my home and my personality. One of my biggest fears about adopting a child is that we might not connect in a way that is healthy and productive. I've looked at a lot of profiles and met several children that tugged at my heart and made me wonder whether we were right for each other. However, I've never felt the strong pull of certainty that overwhelmed me today, which was before I saw a picture or met them in person. I shared my interest with TWHA staff and we created a plan for us to meet in the coming months and see what happens. I don't know what the future holds for me and this child. Even if we don't end up becoming a family, I would like to be part of their life as a mentor and trusted adult that will help them navigate life. ...