Diamonds or Pearls

Today, I learned that the home visit report was submitted to the agency.  They will review the report and approve my application in the next few weeks. Then, I'll be licensed to foster/adopt. I'm excited about the progress.

I've been asked about my placement preferences several times by the agency and home visit contractor. Everyone in my circle who knows about my journey has asked me the gender question. "Do you prefer boys or girls?" I'll use this post to address those questions.

  • Boy or girl? I don't have a gender preference. I just want to connect with them no matter the gender.
  • How many? I am open to having 2 kids placed in my home, because I want to accommodate siblings, and I don't currently have the capacity for more.
  • Age? This is the answer that surprises most people. I am interested in children who are 10 years old or older. Why? I know that is the hardest group to place because they are not cute little babies. Older kids who age out of the system are much more likely to experience poverty, incarceration, and so many negative life experiences. The longer they are in foster care, the more likely they will experience trauma in the system beyond what they might have experienced in their birth family. I want to support them and give them a loving family that will provide a home base even after they turn 18. Even tough teenagers want to belong in a family. I also want older kids, because who wants to change diapers and go through potty training if you don't have to do it? Not me.
  • Foster or adopt? My main goal is adoption. I want to be permanently, officially linked to my kid(s). I am interested in fostering kids who are eligible for adoption, which means parental rights have been terminated. I don't think I can handle the revolving door (and grief) of regular fostering, because the placements are temporary, and the kids can leave at any time.

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