That Mother Lode

Before the frozen embryo transfer (FET), I had a hysteroscope surgery where my doctor viewed my uterus to confirm that the fibroids were not intruding and there were no other growths that would prevent pregnancy. A few days later my doctor let me know that everything was okay to move forward. She asked me when I wanted to start, and I said I would start with my next cycle. We scheduled the FET and I started taking estrogen and injecting progesterone in oil (PIO). Those injections were the hardest because they were intramuscular and in my butt. I created a relaxation routine and affirmations again to remind myself that I was doing this hard thing for my baby. On the day of the transfer, I woke up early and drove to the clinic with my mom. This time, I stayed awake during the procedure. There was no anesthesia. I looked at the ultrasound screen the entire time trying to decipher the shades of gray. Once everything was ready, the embryologist brought in my thawed little embryo and the doc...

The big day finally arrived. I woke up from egg retrieval surgery and I couldn't stop crying and shivering. The nurse said it was due to the anesthesia wearing off. I learned that 23 eggs were retrieved and 10 were mature eggs. After the PGT-A lab tests for abnormalities on 8 embryos, I had a consultation with my doctor to discuss the results. How many of my embryos would be viable for pregnancy? If we were playing spades, I only have the high joker and a lower spade in my hand - 1 and a possible. That's disappointing, but I could still win. I only needed 1embryo to succeed. I asked about next steps, and she gave me 3 options. 1. Complete a second IVF cycle to create more embryos. (more money, no guarantee of a better outcome) 2. Have a myomectomy to remove the fibroids before implantation. (long recovery period, risk of hemorrhaging, guaranteed c-section, compromised uterus) 3. Move forward with implantation. (accept the risks, uncomfortable, start over if it doesn't wor...

I've been afraid of needles since I was a child. I developed coping mechanisms over the years, but my heart still races, my temperature rises, and my body tenses when I know I'm about to be stuck with a needle. After receiving approval for IVF, finding donor sperm, and getting the go ahead from my doctor to start the process, I had to do what scared me the most - self-administered nightly injections. They were subcutaneous (under the skin), and I could inject them in my abdomen or thighs. I was required to watch a series of videos about the medications and how to administer the shots. The nurse also gave me a demo in the doctor's office. She recommended that I sit while doing it since I have a history of fainting after shots.  I was very nervous. I told my therapist about my fear of needles a few days before I was to start treatment. She suggested that I try guided meditation to overcome my fear. Why hadn't I thought of that before? She sent me a link to a YouTube video...