That Mother Lode

In order to complete an IVF cycle, you need sperm and an egg to create an embryo.  However, I don't have a partner.  I wanted a kind, intelligent, healthy co-parent who wanted to be a father even if we weren't romantically involved.  A friend volunteered to be my sperm donor, but it didn't work out.  I decided to explore cryobanks and their limited supply of black donors.  It was like online dating, but with extensive medical and personal details and none of the banal conversations.  In my search, approximately 5% of the donors were black men.  I created a short list of favorites based on carrier status, medical history, and personality traits, and my friend helped me narrow them down.  I felt good about my decision.  I have more information about the donor and myself than most couples have about each other before conceiving.  I sent the selected donor's profile to my doctor's office, and I met with a genetic counselor to review h...

Becoming a parent can be challenging for some people, and it's often a lonely place. This is especially true for those of us who are the first or only in our circle to desire children and choose a different path when it doesn't happen naturally. Catarah and Carlos share their story in the video below and give some insight on the IVF process. I went to FAMU with her sister, but I don't know Catarah directly. Her story resonates with me deeply. I wish the Colemans the very best and pray that they receive the desires of their heart. My path to IVF is not due to infertility, so it's different from others that I know. I actively, and successfully, avoided pregnancy because I wanted to wait on the right partner. The wait is over. My desire to be a mother outweighs my desire to be a wife at this time in my life, and I have no regrets other than not freezing my eggs when I was younger. I look forward to a joyful future and I hope to encourage someone else who is walking a simil...

Last year, I had another teary well-woman exam.  During that visit, my doctor suggested a hysterectomy because of my asymptomatic fibroids, and that made me angry.  I told her that I was in the process of adopting a child, so she thought that meant I had given up on carrying a baby and I would be interested in removing my uterus completely to get rid of the fibroids.  Hearing that I would lose the opportunity to have a biological child made me so angry and sad.  I wanted to preserve my fertility.  I told her I wasn't ready to give up, so she ordered lab tests for my hormone levels and a view of my ovaries to determine if my reproductive system looked healthy.  The results were much better than expected, especially for a woman of "advanced maternal age".  At 42, I decided to pursue egg freezing to preserve my chances of having a baby in the future.  However, my health insurance denied authorization for the procedure AGAIN.  I'm not a quitter....