Eventually reality hits me!

For almost a year, I've been quietly working on expanding my family. After I decided that I was ready to take this big step, I talked to a wise woman who fosters, and she gave me some great advice to get started. I contacted a local foster/adoption agency, and thus my adventure began. I spent evenings and occasional weekends taking classes that included child development, communication, medication administration, recognizing sexual abuse and trauma, cultural understanding, behavior management, and more. I believe that many of the classes should be mandatory for all parents, not just those who are seeking a license. I had to complete an application that disclosed every part of my life from my finances to my divorce to my relationship with my family to my neighborhood demographics, etc. I also had to complete a background check, get CPR certified, buy a fire extinguisher, get a gas inspection, and have personal references vouch for my character. Since I am doing this solo, I also had to ask a friend to be my backup caregiver in order for me to be licensed. All of the prerequisites are done, and I am in the home stretch. 

Today, my Family Home Developer came to my house to talk about my preferences and confirm that my house is suitable for placement. After she left, I was overcome with emotions and cried uncontrollably. I've been both excited and scared for nearly a year, and today's visit, made motherhood more of a tangible reality. I couldn't contain myself, so I called my close friend and poured out my tear-filled words on how I was feeling in that moment. I'm glad that she answered the phone. She reassured me and gave me another perspective that I hadn't considered previously. I've been busy completing the requirements with an abstract idea of my kid(s), meaning I understand the challenges and opportunities of adopting kids, but I have not pictured what they would look like. However, hearing my friend talk about her own troubled childhood and how she wishes she had an adult like me in her life back then, I was inspired to start looking at the kids that will come into my home as younger versions of her. When I meet them, I will remember to give them the love and support that my friend desperately needed when she was a kid. Even before today's conversation, I've looked at her motherhood journey as a source of inspiration, because she followed a nontraditional path to become a mother. I'm so grateful to have her and other people in my life who show me what is possible and help expand my imagination. 

I've shared my desire to be a mother and my process with a rather small circle. As I get closer to becoming a mother, I feel more open about sharing what is happening in this new chapter of my life. I hope to document the process with this blog and expand the way that people think of motherhood. I also need support for my new family. I pray that my kids feel the love from me and my community that helps them grow into their full potential.