The Pivot

"Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face” - Mike Tyson

I am a planner. I think about what I want and create strategies to help me achieve my goals. As much as I planned for 2025, I felt out of control for most of the year. In the past, I could work to make things happen, even if it took time, and they happened because I was the constant. However, having a baby and becoming a dementia caregiver in 2025 brought a lot of variability. Routines changed often. I had to be flexible. I  had to be vulnerable and ask for patience from others when I was late or didn't know if I would actually show up. It didn't matter if I woke up earlier or prepped the night before -  blowouts (and other bodily fluids) happened, rebellion happened, fevers and rashes happened. I had to adapt to it all. I am still learning to be nimble and adjust to all of the variables. It's taxing on my mind, body, and spirit. 

Back in November, my friend asked me about my goals/intentions for 2026. I couldn't answer him at the time. Thinking about the future seemed so foreign. I felt like I could only focus on the minutes in front of me because things changed so quickly from moment to moment. His question replayed in my mind later that evening during my "quiet time" while I washed bottles and cleaned the kitchen. I decided that my 2026 intention would be all about taking care of me - physically,  spiritually, financially,  socially, and mentally. I'm putting my own oxygen mask on first so I can better care for my loves. Instead of constantly saying I don't have time or energy to take care of me, I am creating what I need and thinking outside of the box. It looks like doing squats while brushing my teeth or doing squats while holding Ayomi (He loves that). It looks like calf raises while washing dishes, walking in the backyard when I can't go to the park, and stretching while Ayomi plays before bed. I am prioritizing fun and rest. I am going to bed because the laundry will still be there tomorrow. I am scheduling time and engaging with people that bring joy, inspiration, and insight. I am enlisting help and explicitly stating what I need. I am letting go of the pressure to be great at everything and just being. (My bare minimum is still better than most.) Sometimes surviving is enough. I am conserving my energy for what is important so that I can thrive in those areas. I am pivoting instead of falling.

 

The comeback that didn't happen 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Good Morning

Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning. - Psalm 30:5   My first month of motherhood was pretty rough; I'm grateful for the lessons learned during that time. It's been 2 months, and I finally feel like we're getting into a groove. I've had some help. I'm able to sleep a little more, and I feel more relaxed, which makes me a better mother. I'm also less emotional and no longer cry daily. Winning! We're getting to know each other day by day. Ayomi Likes: Snuggling with mama Riding in the car Hearing music and mama's songs Eating  Exploring the world  Ayomi Dislikes: Bathing (except with mama) Being hungry  The carseat
Read more

My Joy is Bright

Image
I believe that names are important, whether naming people, pets, entities, etc. I'm always interested in the origins and I am intentional about correct pronunciations. What we call something is what it is and what it becomes. My mother told me the origin of my name when I was  a small child and it has always been a symbol of pride for me. I was named after the mother of John the Baptist, Jesus's cousin, and my name means, "consecrated to God" or "oath of God". Anytime someone says my name, they are declaring my dedication to God. My dog, Isis, was named after the Egyptian goddess, and she represents the royal throne. Throughout my pregnancy, people asked me the baby's name, and I kept it a secret.  Some people made assumptions. One friend said I would probably honor someone close to me. Another friend said that the name would be meaningful based on how much thought I put into naming my dog and other entities. My mother said if I had a girl, her name shou...
Read more

Birth Story

Image
It was MLK Day (Monday), a day usually spent in service, but I felt like being lazy. I stayed in my bed for hours that morning, except for potty breaks. I knew I would be welcoming my baby in the coming days, and I just wanted to relax as much as possible. When I finally got out of bed, I decided to Netflix and chill on the couch. I took a nap and then woke up suddenly when I felt something wet on my thighs. Did I just pee in my sleep? As I walked to the bathroom, I felt a trickle down my leg. Liquid slowly streamed out a s I sat on the toilet,   but I realized it wasn't urine because I couldn't stop the flow. In disbelief, I said out loud, "My water just broke". I didn't panic. It was around 4:40pm. I showered, ate dinner, did laundry, and straightened up around my house because I knew the baby was arriving soon. I called my OB, doula, and my friend/birth partner to let them know what was happening. My OB was concerned that my membranes ruptured with no contracti...
Read more