That Mother Lode

Several people told me, "The days are long and the years are short" when it comes to raising children. I understood that in theory, and now I know it in practice. I am exhausted when I get into bed at night because I'm so busy all day. Thankfully, Ayomi sleeps through the night now. He is changing day by day, exploring more and more.  He rolls, scoots, reaches, babbles, and he even tried to swim in the bathtub last night. I'm grateful to see how he's learning and growing in so many ways. I am thrilled by his curiosity. He's experiencing the world for the first time, which makes me slow down and experience things that I took for granted previously.  Being apart during the day makes our time together feel richer and more precious. Sometimes I look at him in wonder and amazement that he's my baby. My gift. My joy. I really struggled physically, mentally, and emotionally in the beginning. It's not easy, but we're finding what works best for us. As he g...

Today was Ayomi's first day at a childcare center. On the way there, I told him what to expect, and I tried to be cheerful. The pep talk was really for me to calm my own nerves. I left him smiling in the arms of strangers, and he didn't seem to be bothered when I walked out. I cried in my car. He was still smiling when I returned a few hours later. He had a good day, and that made me feel better.   

4:19am Hi. I feel like I'm crashing, and I need to breathe. Are you able to come over today for 1-2 hours? 4:58am  Hey there. Great awareness and proactiveness. Thursday is my long day...but i will see where I can make a hole.   Even though it seems like we're finding our rhythm more and more, this week felt harder. Ayomi woke up around 2:30am yesterday, and I couldn't go back to sleep after feeding him because I was so stressed.  I sing, talk, read, and play with him all day everyday, because I want to be engaged and let him know that he is important to me. He is thriving and showing great curiosity, which makes me feel good. However, I am an introvert. I have learned to adapt and exhibit extroverted behaviors when needed, but it is draining to be "on" all the time without alone  time for me to recover and get re-energized. I desperately reached out to my friend for help, and she responded without judgment. She watched him and I was able to recharge for a few hou...

It's been more than 3 months since our family of 3 was formed. Ayomi is growing and changing daily. He's more active and attentive to the world around him. He's "talkative" and doesn't seem to care that I don't understand his language yet. His laughter and gummy smile brighten each day. He mostly sleeps through the night now. He's enjoying baths more, and we have a good bedtime routine in place. Isis sometimes sits outside the nursery door so she can see us getting ready for bed. (She's not allowed in bedrooms.) She generally ignores Ayomi and stays focused on me. I think they will be great friends once Ayomi is mobile and they can play together. Enjoying the beautiful weather together Isis sitting outside the nursery

Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning. - Psalm 30:5   My first month of motherhood was pretty rough; I'm grateful for the lessons learned during that time. It's been 2 months, and I finally feel like we're getting into a groove. I've had some help. I'm able to sleep a little more, and I feel more relaxed, which makes me a better mother. I'm also less emotional and no longer cry daily. Winning! We're getting to know each other day by day. Ayomi Likes: Snuggling with mama Riding in the car Hearing music and mama's songs Eating  Exploring the world  Ayomi Dislikes: Bathing (except with mama) Being hungry  The carseat

    I am in the arena alone. If you want to help me, please deliver food using my meal train . I appreciate not having to think about what I'm going to eat on top of everything else. I am grateful for everyone who has delivered a meal.    

I believe that names are important, whether naming people, pets, entities, etc. I'm always interested in the origins and I am intentional about correct pronunciations. What we call something is what it is and what it becomes. My mother told me the origin of my name when I was  a small child and it has always been a symbol of pride for me. I was named after the mother of John the Baptist, Jesus's cousin, and my name means, "consecrated to God" or "oath of God". Anytime someone says my name, they are declaring my dedication to God. My dog, Isis, was named after the Egyptian goddess, and she represents the royal throne. Throughout my pregnancy, people asked me the baby's name, and I kept it a secret.  Some people made assumptions. One friend said I would probably honor someone close to me. Another friend said that the name would be meaningful based on how much thought I put into naming my dog and other entities. My mother said if I had a girl, her name shou...

I'm not a fan of gender reveals, and I've always hated the emphasis that people place on a baby's gender. My dream has always been to be surprised at delivery. Well, I made it 36 weeks without knowing. I always begin my medical appointments by saying I don't want to know just in case someone doesn't read my chart. At the 36 week ultrasound, the tech pointed out the baby's foot, stomach, etc., as usual, and then he said, "and there are the testicles". 😯 I forgot to give my disclaimer and he forgot to ask as he usually does. He was very apologetic and said he's never done that in all his years of experience. I'm disappointed that I found out earlier than I wanted. 

It was MLK Day (Monday), a day usually spent in service, but I felt like being lazy. I stayed in my bed for hours that morning, except for potty breaks. I knew I would be welcoming my baby in the coming days, and I just wanted to relax as much as possible. When I finally got out of bed, I decided to Netflix and chill on the couch. I took a nap and then woke up suddenly when I felt something wet on my thighs. Did I just pee in my sleep? As I walked to the bathroom, I felt a trickle down my leg. Liquid slowly streamed out a s I sat on the toilet,   but I realized it wasn't urine because I couldn't stop the flow. In disbelief, I said out loud, "My water just broke". I didn't panic. It was around 4:40pm. I showered, ate dinner, did laundry, and straightened up around my house because I knew the baby was arriving soon. I called my OB, doula, and my friend/birth partner to let them know what was happening. My OB was concerned that my membranes ruptured with no contracti...

Today is my 44th birthday. I usually take the week off and travel somewhere fun. However,  the only place I wanted to be today was at home with my baby. I got my wish. We were discharged from the hospital finally after waiting for Ayomi's jaundice to clear. I didn't have to get on a plane this year to experience something new and exciting. Who knows where we'll be next year. I'm excited to have a new travel buddy. I can't wait to show him the world.