That Mother Lode

I find it funny everytime I get an email about a sale from my cryobank. Who knew that sperm was such a commodity? Black donors are rare across the assisted reproduction spectrum. I encourage everyone who is eligible (healthy women under 30 and men under 40) to consider becoming a donor. Also, consider being a surrogate. I know families that benefitted from the generosity of surrogates and donors, and they are forever grateful for the gift of their children.  

    What are you having? A baby. I don't want to know the gender prior to delivery. When is the baby due? The estimated due date is between my mom's birthday and my birthday in January 2025. What will you name the baby? I'll share the name after baby is born.  My nickname for now is "Joy". Do you want a boy or girl? I just want a healthy baby. Who is the father? Read the previous blog posts. Will you stop traveling? No  What did you do about the fibroids? I chose to pursue a natural health plan with Muhimu Oils Wellness Center . The largest fibroid was 10 cm and shrank to 8.5 cm following the plan prior to FET.  Since becoming pregnant, the hormones that help my baby grow are also helping the fibroids grow and putting me at risk for pre-term labor.  I believe and pray that my baby will keep growing and the fibroids will shrink. Where are you registered? registry details Does Isis know you're pregnant? Dogs know us better than we know ourselves. I smell diff...

I am grateful that my pregnancy has been smooth so far. My 1st trimester symptoms were so mild that I might not have known that I was pregnant if I didn't already know. I also haven't experienced any symptoms associated with the fibroids. I'm exhausted and constantly need to pee. I'm at the beginning of my second trimester, and supposedly, I'm going to get a burst of energy and stop peeing so much. I've officially moved into my new home in Dallas, so I'm looking forward to getting settled and nesting.  I shared my pregnancy news with people closest to me, and I know soon enough most people will know because of my growing belly. I'm grateful for my village. I have received love, support, and a bit of curiosity. For many of the people I know, especially family, I am the only person in their lives who has intentionally pursued pregnancy via IVF, and I chose to do it without a partner, and I'm in my 40s. I break barriers. Hopefully, sharing my journey wi...

For the first 10 weeks of my pregnancy, beginning 2 weeks before the transfer, I had to take hormones to make sure my body would support the early growth of my baby. The nurse drew this diagram of my butt so I would know where the progesterone in oil (PIO) injections should go. I drew those same lines on my butt every morning to be sure I did it correctly. At the same time that I was doing these daily injections and other medications, I was in the process of moving from Houston to Dallas. It was a lot! I saw my fertility doctor for the last time during my 9th week. She did another ultrasound, and I could actually identify the baby this time. I heard the heartbeat, and I cried. They gave me a copy of my medical records to give to my OB, and I was released to regular prenatal care. It felt like a graduation ceremony. I completed my final shot a few days later, which was the day before I moved. I had a contingency plan with my doctor just in case my move happened earlier,  but I'm gra...

Luke 1:28 NKJV‬ [28]... the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one,  the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”   https://bible.com/bible/114/luk.1.28.NKJV ‭Luke 1:34 KJV‬ [34] ...How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?    https://bible.com/bible/1/luk.1.34.KJV  ‭‭Luke 1:36-37 NKJV‬ [36] Now indeed, Elizabeth... has also conceived... in her old age ... [37] For with God nothing will be impossible.”    https://bible.com/bible/114/luk.1.36-37.NKJV ‭Luke 1:65-66 NIV‬ [65] All the neighbors were filled with awe, and... people were talking about all these things. [66] Everyone who heard this wondered about it, asking, “What then is this child going to be?” For the Lord’s hand was with him.     https://bible.com/bible/111/luk.1.65-66.NIV My first positive home pregnancy test  

Before the frozen embryo transfer (FET), I had a hysteroscope surgery where my doctor viewed my uterus to confirm that the fibroids were not intruding and there were no other growths that would prevent pregnancy. A few days later my doctor let me know that everything was okay to move forward. She asked me when I wanted to start, and I said I would start with my next cycle. We scheduled the FET and I started taking estrogen and injecting progesterone in oil (PIO). Those injections were the hardest because they were intramuscular and in my butt. I created a relaxation routine and affirmations again to remind myself that I was doing this hard thing for my baby. On the day of the transfer, I woke up early and drove to the clinic with my mom. This time, I stayed awake during the procedure. There was no anesthesia. I looked at the ultrasound screen the entire time trying to decipher the shades of gray. Once everything was ready, the embryologist brought in my thawed little embryo and the doc...

The big day finally arrived. I woke up from egg retrieval surgery and I couldn't stop crying and shivering. The nurse said it was due to the anesthesia wearing off. I learned that 23 eggs were retrieved and 10 were mature eggs. After the PGT-A lab tests for abnormalities on 8 embryos, I had a consultation with my doctor to discuss the results. How many of my embryos would be viable for pregnancy? If we were playing spades, I only have the high joker and a lower spade in my hand - 1 and a possible. That's disappointing, but I could still win. I only needed 1embryo to succeed. I asked about next steps, and she gave me 3 options. 1. Complete a second IVF cycle to create more embryos. (more money, no guarantee of a better outcome) 2. Have a myomectomy to remove the fibroids before implantation. (long recovery period, risk of hemorrhaging, guaranteed c-section, compromised uterus) 3. Move forward with implantation. (accept the risks, uncomfortable, start over if it doesn't wor...

I've been afraid of needles since I was a child. I developed coping mechanisms over the years, but my heart still races, my temperature rises, and my body tenses when I know I'm about to be stuck with a needle. After receiving approval for IVF, finding donor sperm, and getting the go ahead from my doctor to start the process, I had to do what scared me the most - self-administered nightly injections. They were subcutaneous (under the skin), and I could inject them in my abdomen or thighs. I was required to watch a series of videos about the medications and how to administer the shots. The nurse also gave me a demo in the doctor's office. She recommended that I sit while doing it since I have a history of fainting after shots.  I was very nervous. I told my therapist about my fear of needles a few days before I was to start treatment. She suggested that I try guided meditation to overcome my fear. Why hadn't I thought of that before? She sent me a link to a YouTube video...

In order to complete an IVF cycle, you need sperm and an egg to create an embryo.  However, I don't have a partner.  I wanted a kind, intelligent, healthy co-parent who wanted to be a father even if we weren't romantically involved.  A friend volunteered to be my sperm donor, but it didn't work out.  I decided to explore cryobanks and their limited supply of black donors.  It was like online dating, but with extensive medical and personal details and none of the banal conversations.  In my search, approximately 5% of the donors were black men.  I created a short list of favorites based on carrier status, medical history, and personality traits, and my friend helped me narrow them down.  I felt good about my decision.  I have more information about the donor and myself than most couples have about each other before conceiving.  I sent the selected donor's profile to my doctor's office, and I met with a genetic counselor to review h...

Becoming a parent can be challenging for some people, and it's often a lonely place. This is especially true for those of us who are the first or only in our circle to desire children and choose a different path when it doesn't happen naturally. Catarah and Carlos share their story in the video below and give some insight on the IVF process. I went to FAMU with her sister, but I don't know Catarah directly. Her story resonates with me deeply. I wish the Colemans the very best and pray that they receive the desires of their heart. My path to IVF is not due to infertility, so it's different from others that I know. I actively, and successfully, avoided pregnancy because I wanted to wait on the right partner. The wait is over. My desire to be a mother outweighs my desire to be a wife at this time in my life, and I have no regrets other than not freezing my eggs when I was younger. I look forward to a joyful future and I hope to encourage someone else who is walking a simil...